The Marquis De Sade wasn’t my first love, but he’s been an enduring one. Growing up I immersed myself in Edwardian gothic literature. I remember reading the horrors of Algernon Blackwood or W.W. Jacobs and thinking as an 8 year old: “I want to be one of them.” Of course, I am nothing like them. I don’t come from that time and there’s nothing to be done about it. As a teenager, I found Bukowski and loved his insanely informal use of language. I loved him because he was fun to read. A few years later, when I started having the desire to broaden my understanding of my own bdsm nature I became  interested in De Sade. I was busy running my dungeon and expanding my repertoire as a Mistress. When I first read 120 days of Sodom; I read it like a recipe book I could modify for my pro Domina sessions. And I truly am thankful to De Sade for the help. He made dungeon time much more entertaining.

A few years ago, I went to a dear friends civil partnership. It was an Anglo-French wedding. I got talking to the groom’s brother who is French. He said that the french consider De Sade as the father of modern psychology. That makes perfect sense to me. I expect if you are reading this you probably already knew that, but it never occurred to me until then.

All of De Sade’s writings are about the unmaking of social conventions and the inversion of the way human beings are expected to think and act. I am not going to write a long diatribe about DeSade. There are long and detailed books about the subject.

But even to this day. De Sade is still (300 years later) light years ahead of the curve. In 17th century European cities, flogging houses and bdsm practices had their popularity as equally then as now. Clever forms of torture go back thousands of years. People are drawn to it. Some people will always be driven to push their senses as far as they will go. But I still can’t thank DeSade enough for jolting me out of my fugue. Because of his intelligence (even though he spent far too much time locked up) he held the keys to the castle. Given the opportunity, I would have let him run free to find out what this beloved sexual astronaut was capable of.

The worst torment I have endured has always been having not written anything. That torment started when I was 8. It wasn’t to be assuaged until I started my screenwriting classes 10 years ago.

My screenwriting teacher calmly stated that many people don’t start writing until they hit their 30’s. I understand now why that is. It was because you have to live a lot to be able to transmit your information correctly. So, don’t be someone who tortures yourself because you haven’t written anything. You will write something. Our thoughts have to be ordered and new ideas have to be tested over time if they are to warrant being written down in the first place.

I find myself respecting stranger people now. Barbara Cartland used to be someone who wore pink and wrote romance novels. Now, Barbara Cartland is a person who executed 278 writing projects and finished them. I am told they are all very similar, but it’s still a massive acheivement. She came up with an idea to tow gliders during WW2 and got some kind of air service medal.

I like her a lot more now. I’m not going to read her books. What she writes about never happens and I think that would depress the reader subconsciously. Whereas I know with my books that random sex with dirty strangers is VERY possible for my characters. But I still like that Cartland executed so many projects. I think it’s amazing.

I have 3 books that need desperately to be written. I have also finished my first novel. One of the other books is halfway in production and they have hold their own individual importance to me. They are not all erotica. I just like erotica, because I like De Sade so much. But I am not trying to be him. I have my own voice. I do recommend reading 120 days of Sodom. Read it like a book that’s going to take you out of thinking in a way that’s expected of you. It’s not about being shocked. It’s about learning how to divide yourself from how you were brought up. It’s very liberating to stop being the person people expect you to be and start finding a pathway to becoming the person you really are. Hooray for the Marquis! He is a true modernist. I love him.

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